Going Gray at 43: My Journey and Tips for Embracing the Transition

I have been down this road more than once. But, seven months ago, I made a decision: I stopped highlighting my hair and let nature take over. Now, at 43, I find myself standing at a crossroads, with a white stripe forming prominently in the front of my hair. Some days I love it—it feels bold, empowering, and uniquely me. Other days, I wonder if it’s time to return to highlights. Primarily because everyone always says that I look so refreshed with my highlights! 

For anyone contemplating the transition to gray hair, know this: there’s no wrong choice. Whether you embrace your grays or decide to return to dyeing, it’s your journey, your hair, and your decision.

Here’s a bit about my experience and some tips if you’re considering going gray yourself.

Why I Decided to Go Gray

As someone who has been blonde most of my life, the transition hasn’t been as dramatic for me as it might be for those with darker hair. I’ve never dyed my hair fully dark (though there was that one time with the hot pink—what a time that was!). My highlights helped ease the contrast, but even so, letting go of the salon visits and embracing my natural color has been a process.

Seven months in, I’ve realized going gray is less about hair and more about a full-blown mental makeover. Sure, some days I feel like a silver fox in training, but then there are those other days—the ones where I glance in the mirror and think, “Tired? Drab? Is that my reflection or a moody Victorian ghost?” The internal monologue isn’t always kind, but hey, it’s all part of the adventure, right?

Tips for Going Gray

1. Start with Highlights or Balayage:
   If you’ve been dyeing your hair, particularly darker colors, highlights or balayage can help soften the grow-out phase. These techniques blend your natural color with your dyed hair, creating a gradual transition. This is what I have done. My last balayage was July 2024.
2. Invest in a Great Purple Shampoo:
   Gray hair can sometimes take on unwanted yellow tones. A quality purple shampoo will keep your grays looking fresh and vibrant, especially if your hair has been processed in the past.
3. Be Patient (It Takes Time):
   Hair grows about half an inch per month, so the process can take a while, depending on your length. Consider trimming regularly to speed up the transition.
4. Experiment with Hairstyles:
   Play with styles that highlight your evolving color. A white stripe in the front? Rock it like a natural balayage! Braids, buns, and curls can also add dimension and texture during the grow-out phase.
5. Join a Community:
   There are countless online communities, Instagram accounts, and blogs dedicated to the gray hair journey. Hearing others’ stories can be incredibly motivating and reassuring.

6. Add a Touch of French Girl Flair with a Chic Scarf
When it comes to transitioning to gray, accessories can be your best friend. One of my favorite go-to tricks is styling a French-inspired scarf—a classic piece that adds charm, personality, and practicality to your look.
Here are a few ways to style scarves during the transition:

• The Classic Headband: Fold a silk scarf into a long rectangle and tie it behind your ears for a playful and polished look.
• The Low Pony Wrap: Tie a scarf around the base of a low ponytail, letting the ends cascade down.
• The Turban Wrap: Perfect for full coverage on self-conscious days—wrap, knot, and tuck the ends for a bold statement.

Scarves not only help you embrace the grow-out phase with style but also add a fun and creative element to your routine.

Want a step-by-step guide on tying scarves? Let me know in the comments—I’d love to share more ideas!

6. It’s OK to Change Your Mind:
   If you try going gray and decide it’s not for you, there’s no shame in returning to color. Hair is meant to be fun and expressive, and there’s no rulebook you have to follow.

The Emotional Side of Going Gray

Going gray isn’t just a hair decision—it’s a statement. For many, it represents a step toward authenticity and self-acceptance. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

There are days when I look in the mirror and think, This is me, and I love it. Then there are days when I wonder if I should go back to my sunny highlights. And that’s OK. The beauty of this journey is that you’re in control. You can embrace your grays, rock a new style, or head back to the salon—whatever makes you feel confident and happy.

My Gray Hair Journey So Far

Right now, I’m still in the exploration phase. Seven months in, I’m loving the stripe in the front—it feels like my body’s natural highlight. I’m also realizing that going gray is about more than hair. It’s about embracing change, being kind to yourself, and making space for a new version of you.

Whether I keep going gray or return to blonde, I’ll remind myself that beauty isn’t defined by a single choice. It’s about what makes you feel your best.

So, to anyone thinking about going gray: try it, experiment, and remember—it’s your hair, your rules.

What’s your take on going gray? If you’ve done it—or are thinking about it—let me know in the comments!